Your cherished Pooh Bear’s dismal friend Eeyore

Said “Birthdays… here today and gone tomorrow.”

So we say feast and party all the more!!

A man so cool celebs just want to know

How to look like him, to look like Jim.

The piercing eyes, the curls of grey, the nose

Just so. M. Roux, Sharif, Houdini sim-

-ply rush to get the latest Jimmy trend,

So baggy trousers, retro Golfs are IN.

At forty-nine he’s nowhere near the end.

Indeed, unlike most other men his age,

He’s on the up, the launch pad, and his friends

Say “Great! There’s more to come from Jim, Hooray!”

More kinks, more piercings, maps and photo shots,

More dungeons, nipple clamps, his life’s not beige.

So here’s to forty-nine more years of not

What you’d expect your average chap to do.

From Essex to the Bubble raise a tot

To Jim, the Happy Birthday Boy, to you!